I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
