I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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