I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
no, he came in my armpit
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
