dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
