He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
