Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
