sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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