R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
