I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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