He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
