I must be too annoying 4 u.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
