He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
