I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
