Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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