When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this will be a night to untag.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
