i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
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I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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