Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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