I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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