About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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