im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
