i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
