God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
