i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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