ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think your dad took our porno
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
