The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Randomize
