lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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