from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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