Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
