Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
