i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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