Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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