I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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