So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
