Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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(713): View more from Texas

i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.

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(661): View more from California

u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom

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(440): View more from Ohio

Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well

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(740): View more from Ohio

I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas

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(815): View more from Illinois

When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship

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(212): View more from New York

Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago

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