i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
