Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
