just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize