Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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