We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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