Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Randomize
