you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
