When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
