Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
