Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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