I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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