The maid of honor just puked.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
