Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize