Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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