if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
