so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
