Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I believe in your delicious
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
