god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's never too late to be topless.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
