I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
