addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
