but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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