We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You may now shotgun with the bride
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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