i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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