I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
