Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
