Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
