It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
