So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
