Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
