You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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