pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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