we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize