hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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