I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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